At UCB, when they post new house teams, their ‘starter’ names are anagrams for various people related to the theater. Teachers, managers; last year they did babies of UCB upper management. Instead of doing anything productive, I spent a solid hour today looking up anagrams of my name. I was day dreaming that some ragtag collection of eight strapping young comedians would be graced...
I am not helpful or fun.
Friend: How's home?
Me: Miserable. We ran out of food. But like, literally no food. There's nothing to eat.
Friend: So my pilot is like 13 pages of song lyrics.
Me: Could be worse.
Friend: Yeah, I'll write the rest later.
Me: I mean, my pilot is just pictures of manatees that have been run over by boats. And there's totally cat poop on one page, but I'm gonna play it off as a coffee stain.
Friend: Fun times.
Let's talk about Teen Wolf again.
Sure, it’s annoying for me to bring this up again, but this a tumblr. What were you expecting? So. Danny. The gay character on Teen Wolf. He’s gay. Did we mention how gay he is? And he loves men too. His favorite things include: guys, being gay, identifying as homosexual, and being SASSY! This character is offensively flat. When he finally had lines in an episode, those lines were:...
Either porn stars love my tumblr, or I'm...
I text myself sketch premises when I can’t write them down. This typically occurs when I’m drunk. I’m cleaning off my phone and I thought I’d share a few gems with you. ——— “Something about people who like JAZZ!” “Character who says ‘Nothing this sassy ever touched a tit!’ “ “R E S P E C T, I do not have...
You’ve been warned. Anyway, I picked up a copy of Guru: My Time with Del Close by Jeff Griggs earlier this week and I finished it today. Which is not something I do. I read slower than honey drips. It is an easy read, but if you’re an improv nerd—and chances are, if you’re following me, you are—read the shit out of this book. Jeff chronicles his time with Del Close...
Reblog if you reblog
In high school, I had Mr. Gay and Ms. Enema
And somehow, for the love of god, I never realized that perhaps, just maybe, it might be funny. I really, really hope they get married. And she hyphenates.
BACKGROUND ACTORS NEEDED FOR COLLEGEHUMOR THIS...
heyitseva: Hey everyone, I’m working on a new original for CollegeHumor and we need a little help filling out several large crowd scenes. We are shooting during the day in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. FRIDAY JULY 22 About 9AM to 6PM $7.86/ Hour Due to a change in our payroll system, we are now paying all freelance workers by the hour. All participants must be legal to work in the United States. Please...
My parents left yesterday.
They forgot to tell me when they were leaving, so I hadn’t gotten around to bugging them for a trip to the grocery store. I need them since the nearest store is about three miles away, across two highways, and I don’t have a car. My mother’s solution, when I raised this problem to her, was to throw a few twenties at me. Ten minutes later, they left for Boston. Boston, where...
Here's the thing
I really, really want to name an improv troupe “Aphrodite’s Boobs.” I just started a troupe. We haven’t picked a name yet. So…mathematically we have to, right?
I can graduate this semester.
Some thoughts about this: —I would be completing a 4-year program in 2 1/2 years. Albeit with no minor, but still. —This would mean I did the bulk of my undergrad work in high school. —This is terrifying. —The real world is too scary.