My real passion is roller derby disco dance-fighting.– (via 365oneliners) I’ve been neglecting my 365 project. Sorry guys! I’ll be up to date by this evening.
Monique Hargrove, Urban Witch
You know those facebook ads that never quite reach their target audience? The ones that try to sell you ceiling fans and cradles, even though you live in a dorm? Well, a friend of mine accidentally clicked through one of those the other day, and they found the most amazing thing I have ever seen. A website where you can pay for witches to cast spells for you. No big surprises there. It’s...
Does Auschwitz have a gift shop? Do they sell soap?– (via 365oneliners)
Last night, Verizon Wireless stopped following...
We broke up on Valentine’s Day. I’m heartbroken. I guess they found out I’m AT&T…I should have just come clean when I had the time. I’m hurting inside.
My alma mater wants to fire a teacher for blogging →
After admitting, over a year ago and via blog, that she wanted to send students home with more honest comments on their report cards, Natalie Munroe—an English teacher at CB East—has been suspended pending investigation. She was about to leave on maternity. The comments she posted online were rude. But you know what else is rude? A video of a horse shitting on an Australian lady, and...
Blackout sketches I'll never get around to making
—A man sitting at a toilet realizes that he doesn’t have toilet paper. He looks around and finds the hand towels missing. He sits in bewilderment for a moment, then hears a scratching noise. The camera pans to reveal a cat. Cut between the two, zooming in. Blackout. —The guitar guy at the party is just taking out his guitar as a jihadist runs in and blows himself up. After the...
Art would be totally shitty if metaphor wasn’t a thing.– (via 365oneliners) The smartest thing I’ve ever said.
I accidentally signed up for a class about...
Cheery, right? It meets in the evening, and the professor is a native Swede with a penchant for putting his foot in his mouth. See, it’s this history class for people who don’t give a shit about history class. The official title is “The Present Through the Past,” which sounds like a PBS special for Black History Month (timely joke! Zing pow!), and it turns out that the...
To feed an ass, one needs but his fingers.– (via 365oneliners)