July 23, 2014

DEF JAM ANIME

This is exactly what it sounds like.

July 22, 2014

Straight people are seriously so exhausting.

July 18, 2014

(Source: cocaineteas, via homosexual-supervillian)

July 16, 2014

I spend most of my free time at open mics and comedy shows and this made me laugh more than most of those, which is 100% unfair and stupid

(Source: chespin, via bromancing-the-stone)

July 16, 2014

the fun thing about being gay is that we don’t start actively dating until our twenties, so while we’re maturing in other sectors of our lives (having jobs, figuring ourselves out) we’re simultaneously having like 16 year old relationships complete with with whining, lack of emotional comprehension and a misinterpretation of fidelity.

this has been a whine.

good bye!

July 16, 2014

loserbeam said: I miss feeling your dick in my butt

whoamorgan:

July 16, 2014

Crowd work - Like It’s 2014 - Ben Franklin (rough)

Stepped on the end of my own Ben Franklin bit by taking too long doing crowd work up top. It was fun though, we had a bunch of youngsters up front.

July 14, 2014
psyducked:

oops

If I seem high strung for the next two months, it’s because I am constantly about to do this to my life.

psyducked:

oops

If I seem high strung for the next two months, it’s because I am constantly about to do this to my life.

(Source: 4gifs)

July 12, 2014
Project Muse

Hey, so listen. I’ve posted literally thousands of jokes on social media for free over the past couple of years. I’ve even had jokes and articles on Collegehumor, work for which I received zero pay. But in a few weeks, I’ll be moving to New York for grad school. I will have enough money to pay for this, but do to circumstances out of my control I’m not getting my stipend or pay for the job I’ve been working since March until late September. It’s a lot of bullshit.

If I can’t raise some cash, I’m going to end up homeless during at least my first month of grad school. I’m starting an indiegogo campaign so that you can commission me to write material. If you like my stuff, commission a joke or a sketch or something. I’d really appreciate it and you get something out of it.

I love you.

July 9, 2014

Not Gay

I’m super bored with the joke premise that people think you’re gay when you’re not. So I went to town on it for a few minutes.

Crane Jesus was a callback to someone else’s joke. I can’t remember the set up. I would assume it was insane, because wtf is crane jesus

July 9, 2014

I love how microwaves look like they’re getting progressively more sad as time runs out, like :3 :2 :1 ;o

(Source: loserbeam)

July 9, 2014

loserbeam said: omfg i luv ur blog

ugh just send me nudes already

July 8, 2014
willlaren:

THE DREAM TEAM

I’m writing this pilot, no one steal it

willlaren:

THE DREAM TEAM

I’m writing this pilot, no one steal it

(Source: slasher01, via alexwatt)

July 6, 2014

bottlerockit:

Oh my fucking god

HALLE THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS INTO MY LIFE

(Source: ohellocaptain, via hallekiefer)

July 6, 2014

mellro:

tonight I watched loserbeam hold a lighter to a slice of watermelon and when someone asked what he was doing he yelled “WHATEVER I WANT! FUCK THE GOVERNMENT!” so happy fourth

I am not a person

12:35am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZCxzQy1Kgu-CS
  
Filed under: mellro america loserbeam 
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